I had often heard my elder sisters and other girls complain about the terrorist tendencies mothers could display whilst haggling prices with traders in the market. It always sounded very funny and impossible to me how somebody could beat down something from 2000 to 400 naira. And again, who were those ridiculous time wasting traders? My sisters said it was a test of grit. Apparently, my mother had a lot of that.
Either way, I was going to find out for myself today. I was home on break from boarding school and I had turned 12 in the past week. My mother had decided that it was a good time to introduce me to the rigors of going to the market.
First we had to be early. That was when we’d get the good stuff and escape the feral heat of the early afternoon sun. However, it was also the start of the day where traders would be most difficult to bargain with because they still had a long day of trading ahead of them. We might be lucky to meet some traders who were just unpacking their wares. Most times, you’d get more at a lesser price than if they had divided their wares into portions.
I woke up quite early to have my bath. I was going to wear my nice jeans and one of the shirts my eldest sister had gotten me for my birthday last week. As I stepped into the living room, my mother shouted.
“Folakemi, shey a n lo party nii? Olorun shanu mi pelu omo yi. Oya go and remove it. Now now. Wear that gown you use to play with Folashade.
“Mummy, but that dress is ugly now.” I grumbled.
“Ehn, shey oja la n lo? A kin wo aso gidi lo soja.
She kia oo, mo n duro” My mother retorted.
On the way to the market, my mother gave me strict instructions to follow. I had to maintain a steady pace so she wouldn’t lose me in the crowded market. I was also supposed to keep quiet and smile while she was bargaining with the vendors. That instruction was of course accompanied with a threat.
In her words “Te ba so kuso ma gba e loju.”
I don’t know why mothers had to be so violent. Truth be told. With all this talk, I was already not looking forward to the entire adventure.
So first on my mother’s list was tomatoes. Yes, my mother always had a list on paper and a biro to tick off the items she had purchased. According to her, coming with a list gave you direction and prevented you from buying unnecessary things. Another thing we came with were the nylon bags. Purchased during previous trips to the market. We had brought a lot because they always came in handy. It’d also spare us a few hundreds of naira that we could use to buy snacks at the market.
My mom bought a quarter basket of tomatoes with “rodo” and “tatashe” . She said the tatashe was what gave the stew its vibrant red color.
We went to the meat sellers next. My sisters had told me to especially pay attention to this part as this was where I’d see my mother’s incredible bargaining skills in action.
My mother approached the third man in the row of about 8 meat sellers.
“Ekaaro oo”
“Mummy mummy, ekaaro oo. Fine girl, how are you? “
“I’m fine sir.” I replied shyly.
I remembered what my mummy said about the smile. I had one job. And I was going to do it well.
“Eran wo lo fe?” My mum carefully examined the pieces of meat laid out on his table and she picked two pieces. I’d have gone for the fleshy less complicated pieces of meat. But my mom preferred meat with “character” as she’d call it. A little bone, a little pomo, and with muscle. That way the soup was colorful and very tasty. I apparently had a lot of things to learn.
“Obviously pleased with her choice, the meat seller turned to me and said “ Your mama sabi meat.” I maintained my smile.
“E lo oo?” My mother asked
Ahh, mummy mummy, e mo pe a sese pa cow laaro yi, so eran yi o fresh. Wo gbogbo eje to wa lara eran yi.”
“Ehn, mo mo, Elo le fe ta?”
“Oya mummy e san 12,000.”
“Kilode? She ki n ma lo nii?” The drama had begun.
“Mummy no, ko ki n se be yen. Eni suuru. Oya Elo le fe san?”
“4000” My mum said without batting an eyelid.
“Ahh mummy!” I thought. But I stayed quiet.
“Ahh, mummy, e shanu mi.” The meat seller had said. “O ju 4k lo”
“Iwo na, she e shanu mi kin pe 12k?” My mum asked him.
“E ma binu mummy, Oya e san 8k.”
My mother was obviously getting irritated at this point.
“ Ma san 4500”
At this point the meat seller turned to me and said, “omolewa, jo, ba mi be mummy”
I knew better than to say anything to my mother. If I didn’t, the nasty look she was currently giving me was enough to remind me.
“Oya e fi nkan si mummy” The meat seller finally said.
“4700 ni ma san, Oya jo ba mi ge.”
Finally, we had reached an agreement. I was already tired and we still had a lot of things to buy.
As the meat seller cut up the meat into smaller pieces, he told my mother about how I’d be a good wife for his son.
My mother did not like such talks.
“E fi Omo mi le. Omode nii oo.” She had said.
“Omode ke? Ko ki n se Omode oo. Omode to loyan to po gidi bayi?”
My mother changed it for him at this point.
“Ema ma sokuso ni waju Omo mi oo. Mi fe ba e ja but mi like gbogbo oro yi te n so. Omo to sese pe 12 last week.”
My mother collected her meat, paid him and walked away.
“E ma binu si mi mummy” The meat seller begged.
My mother took me by my hand and walked away.
“Mtchew, onisokuso. Agbaya Oshi.”
By Kufre Mfon
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