By Reilo
How do you want to convince me that it isn't the case that we've angered God in Nigeria or the blood of the innocent are finally calling for vengeance? (Cries while sweating) Cos I need someone to explain how I became a fountain of sweat? What is this heat? This isn't perspiration, this is dissipation.
As dollar dey rise for this country heat too just dey rise. Pesin no even rest. It is extraordinary everyday. If you no careful you fit melt like butter. Na who we com offend like this? Na small e remain may pesin sef rise like doughnut inside hot oil.
Petrol cost, things cost, light no dey, dem kon still open hellfire branch for this country. Shey na country we dey abi fry pan? Abi who dey cook us? From Economic rogbodiyan to heat roasting gbogbo eniyan (everyone). The body of my house collect me; Ará ilé egbà mÃ! (sighs in perspiration!).
If there's anything that took the "no gree for anybody" slang this year personal, it is actually this heatwave. Cos what?! I went out wearing sleeveless but the heat left me speechless. Why?
By the way, a big shout-out to those who keep wearing long sleeves, black dresses, body con outfit in this heat. You guys are the real MVPs. They seem to have an in-built air-conditioner in them. Cos what better explanation would there be? Except if you are criminal sha. Well, my advise is to continue. Do not stop. You should actually not gree for that heat. Slay in your long sleeves, cardigans and full body con dresses. In fact, if you have a coat, please wear. You need to protect your skin from sun burn. Slay in the heat as per the "hot" girl and boy you are.
To those who have refused to take the "drink enough water" advice, a big shout-out to you, also. Exactly! What do you need water for? Not even now that purewater is 3 for #100. In fact, this is actually the best time not drink enough water. It saves you from sweating unnecessarily. Less water, less sweat. You sef no gree for the heat.
To those going out in loose, armless, short sleeve fits, what happened? You've succumbed to the heat already? To those drinking enough water daily, why? What happened? Do you have a journey ahead of you? I thought our motto for this year is "no gree for anybody?" Desist from these acts of yours cos you don dey gree for the heat be that. No gree for am o. Stick to the year's motto. Bye!
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